26. Add a humanitarian aid charity to my monthly donations

I just seem to be giving money away at the moment. To mark World Water Day, I've added WaterAid to the handful of charities I give a little something each month. Although I thought about organisations such as Oxfam and Medecins Sans Frontieres, it seems to me that without clean water everything else is pretty much irrelevant. According to the charity, over a billion people do not have access to safe water and over two and a half billion people in the world lack adequate sanitation. If a fiver a month can help that just a little, this 101 thing will have been worth it.

I've also slightly tweaked one of the other tasks. No 12 "Watch all the DVDs I own but haven't watched" becomes "Watch 50 DVDs I... yadda yadda yadda", because having bought a few more in the last month, this one just had Greek mythology written all over it.

36 & 37. Convert shrapnel mountain and give 50% away

This was harder than it should have been.

Not since 1998 have I cashed in my mountain of coppers and silver which means I've dragged piles from house to house - four major moves, by my calculation.

But for anyone else wishing to trade in their loose change, my advice is to be aware of how the banking industry works before spending about six hours coppering up. Apparently it all needs to be contained in their special bags and there's a limit on how many each branch will change in a single day.

Having put all my coppers in big bags, I didn't fancy spending another day breaking them down. So off to the commercial money-guzzler at a local supermarket, which takes a modest cut for counting your cash.

If the machine is to be believed, I fed it 599 five pence pieces, 1,120 tuppences and 2081 pennies, amounting to £73.16. When you consider how much metal that is, you'll appreciate that the physical effort involved in getting it there by public transport was not inconsiderable.

After the sugar money for the machine (£5.78 - could have been worse, could have been better, but that's the price one pays for poor planning and convenience), I took home £67.38.

Thirty-five quid of this promptly went to Unicef's East African famine appeal. I had been meaning to donate to the international Niger effort last summer but that appeal appears to be winding down, so Kenya and the Horn assuage my guilt a little, and I can cross two things off the list at once.

4. Classic novel No 1 - The Catcher in the Rye

If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is why I chose to read this book now, and where I got it, and why I hadn't read it before, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don't feel like going into it.

I'd had this book by old Salinger lying around for about a thousand years and I thought it was about time I read it. I mean because I liked the other one that old Salinger did - Franny and Zooey, I was crazy about that book, old Franny, old Zooey - I just felt I'd like this one too.

There's a reason people read this book in their teens.

If you want to know the truth I was just waiting for something interesting to happen or a swell character to come along, some great universal truth to be expounded in a classic piece of writing. But they never did.

It's nice and all - I'm not saying that - but it's also irritating as hell. Pretty soon it became clear that old Caulfield was just another typical teenage boy, with the biggest problems in the world and misunderstood by everyone. I read it anyway though.

But old Caulfield would just go on about how much he smoked and how much he drank and how he didn't really like these swell girls even though they were okay to horse around and get sexy with. He thought he was a man of the world but old Caulfield was just another nervous adolescent. All mouth and no trousers. That damn near killed me, I swear to God.

And don't even mention the movies. Old Caulfield spent so much time complaining about the movies. I hardly ever liked it when he did. Except this one bit when he was talking about newsreels.

"Newsreels. Christ almighty. There's always a dumb horse race, and some dame breaking a bottle over a ship, and a chimpanzee riding a goddam bicycle with pants on."

That killed me, it really did.

11. Organise my DVDs into some kind of comprehensible system

Hardly the most exciting thing on the list, but an important one that's been put off far too long. For those interested, the movies are alphabetised by title, as are the TV and comedy DVDs, and then there's a separate section for Coen Brothers films.

Upsides of this, I'll be able to find any movie I want to watch or lend much more easily, plus I realise quite how DVDs have been out on loan for a very long time. Downside, it seems a little sad and anal. Still, everything has its price.

In addition to this item, I've set several other, slightly bigger wheels in motion, as highlighted in orange.

Oh, and if anyone wants to suggest pre- and post-war classics or biographies I should read, feel free to chip in. The only authors to which I'm already committed are Orwell and possibly Dickens or Eyre.

1. First things first - Post this list online

The Mission:
Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.

Everybody else is doing it so why don't I? No good reason that I can think of. No truck with accusations of plagiarism. Original thinking died out with the dinosaurs - at least that's what everyone keeps telling me.

This will give life some structure, a reason to stop bemoaning my lot, cease putting things off, get some stuff done and stop watching too many reruns of Charmed and Buffy. Young chap needs goals to keep him sane, what!

As far as I can tell it all started here, which sets out the credo thus:

The Criteria:
Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on your part).

Why 1001 Days?
Many people have created lists in the past - frequently simple goals such as new year's resolutions. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organising and timing some tasks such as overseas trips or outdoor activities.

Now that the small print's out of the way, props must go to Jim for drawing my attention to this path in the first place, and to Tory, whose pep talk at New Year got me thinking about where my life was going and encouraged me to do something.

Some of this stuff is simple, personal or mundane, other parts genuinely self-improving or atonement for past inadequacies. Some may well be out of my reach. Some of it's just fun.

Thomas wanted to know what the penalty would be for failing any particular task, seeming keen on the idea of a Chinese burn for each ball I drop. Perhaps unsurprisingly, I choose to view the reality of failure as penalty enough.

Of course, full details of goals attained and works in progress will appear here, as well as providing occasional spin-offs on nb. If anyone feels they can help out, either by making suggestions for cultural exposure or getting involved in the bigger, more practical schemes, please do pipe up.

And by publishing this, I've ticked the first item off the list. Now for the hard bit.

So without further ado, here are the 100 other things I'm going to endeavour to do in the next two years, eight months and 28 days.

1. Post this list online
   
2. Change my job - upwards or sideways
   
3. Sit the NCTJ exams
   
4. Read five post-war classic novels (0/5) and five pre-war classic novels (0/5)
   
5. Read five biographies (0/5)
   
6. Brush up my French well enough to have conversations in France
   
7. Visit Paris
   
8. Holiday two places that aren't North America, including at least one country I've never visited
   
9. Buy a whizzy new PC
   
10. Finish compiling my top 100 movies
    
11. Organise my DVDs into some kind of comprehensible system
    
12. Watch all the DVDs I own but haven't watched (0/50)
    
13. Run my current jalking circuit
    
14. Join a club and attend regularly
    
15. Get the kitchen/bathroom/bedroom door done
    
16. Paint the front door
    
17. Learn to drive
    
18. Extend my leasehold
    
19. Pay off my credit card
    
20. Host and cater six dinner parties (0/6)
    
21. Cook a meal entirely sourced from Borough Market
    
22. Watch Newcastle United play, preferably at St James' Park
    
23. Drink a championship-winning beer at the GBBF
    
24. Test my powers of creative writing properly by completing a script or short story
    
25. Babysit for Thomas and Jane at least six times (0/6)
    
26. Add a humanitarian aid charity to my monthly donations
    
27. Sort the garden out to a sustainable standard
    
28. Host a summer party
    
29. Shave at least once a week for three months
    
30. Visit Paul and Tracy on the Godforsaken Rock
    
31. Go to Sowerby Bridge Rushbearing with Laura
    
32. Paint the walls in the back garden
    
33. Have the front of the house painted
    
34. Clear the boxes of junk from the cupboards at home and donate usable stuff to charity shops
    
35. Fire live ammunition
    
36. Count and convert my copper collection into usable cash
    
37. Let someone else benefit from at least 50% of the realised funds
    
38. Host a Coen Brothers movie night
    
39. Upgrade home auditory experience
    
40. Organise my CDs into some kind of comprehensible system
    
41. Complete the '34 years in music' project by 20 May 2006
    
42. Listen patiently to the work of 10 recording artists unfamiliar to me (0/10)
    
43. Write ten chatty letters (0/10)
    
44. Spend an afternoon in each of the British Museum, Science Museum, and Natural History Museum (0/3)
    
45. Learn how to complete a cryptic crossword
    
46. Update nota benny each day for a 31-day month
    
47. Take people for a picnic at Kenwood
    
48. Complete three charity walks (0/3)
    
49. Go to the theatre 20 times (0/20)
    
50. Watch original language works by Kurosawa, Bergman, Fellini, Godard and Herzog (0/5)
    
51. Learn to cook five new dishes (0/5)
    
52. Double the number of lengths I swim in the pool
    
53. Go to the Ice Bar
    
54. Spend a day at an England Test match
    
55. Ride a horse
    
56. Take Andy and Anna for dinner - no kids
    
57. Meet Finlay Glennie
    
58. Meet Signe Barrett
    
59. Try roller-blading or skiing
    
60. Spend an afternoon in Tate Britain
    
61. Go to Poptimism at least once
    
62. Bake a cake and take it to work
    
63. Attend a Daily Show taping in New York
    
64. Buy a new suit
    
65. Switch nota benny and this list to their own domain
    
66. Volunteer for a community project
    
67. Reunite with the old Claude Gibb gang in Newcastle
    
68. Go on a date
    
69. Learn to touchtype
    
70. Give my spare change to the first busker who makes me grin spontaneously
    
71. Go on an official Rainbow Breweries tour
    
72. Get a cat
    
73. Find a specific book (undisclosed)
    
74. Write my will
    
75. Have a proper massage
    
76. Buy my mother flowers on a random occasion
    
77. Win round Emma Bartle again
    
78. Eat at one of London's top restaurants
    
79. Vote in every NUJ ballot for 18 months
    
80. Change my bank
    
81. Attain the blood donation silver award
    
82. Wear my cnn.com t-shirt to work and provide photographic evidence
    
83. Have a letter printed in a national publication
    
84. Redecorate the sitting room and hall
    
85. Make my photographs available for exhibition online
    
86. Visit the Carter Presidential Library
    
87. Help two people (or sets thereof) move house
    
88. Make a list of 101 things that make me happy
    
89. Get Robin to honour his commitment to sit naked astride one of the Trafalgar Square lions
    
90. Collate all my friends'/family's birthdays and wish them happy birthday on the correct day in the next 12 months
    
91. Write to my MP about an important issue
    
92. Climb a mountain
    
93. Do something on a boat
    
94. Visit Parliament
    
95. Bet £20 on 23 red at a casino roulette table
    
96. Make it across the Golden Gate Bridge
    
97. Get a buzz at Vinopolis
    
98. See a band/artist I have never seen live before
    
99. Memorise all 50 US states well enough to recite them backwards
    
100. Go on a walk that takes more than a day to complete
     
101. This space reserved for someone special